[Original Fiction] A Welcoming Celebration for Cellar Door

Lazy Metaphors

Just wanted to congratulate Jade on finally getting this company up and running and public! So I wrote a little sumthin'-sumthin'...

------------------

Lazy Metaphors – Storm Front: Artifact & Artifice

PAGE ONE – five panels

[1.1] Long panel. Patch and Juli walk past the arcadefronts of the Salem Willows (a sort of run-down boardwalk without the boardwalk). The tin shutters are down for each one, and their breath fogs—it’s winter.

1. Juli: Oh, come on, like you’ve never had a stuffed animal.
2. Patch: Not since I was three, no.
3. Juli: That still counts!

[1.2] Close in, side view. Juli’s bouncing around him—she knows it’s pissing him off, so she can’t resist pushing it further.

4. Juli: Come on, what was it?
5. Juli: It was a tiger, wasn’t it? It so was!
6. Patch: Oh, bite me, would you?

[1.3] Patch backs away into the parking lot, his arms open, daring.

7. Patch: It was a goddamned Bigfoot, all right?

[1.4] Juli brings her hands to her face—and goes Chibi, to boot.

8. Juli: Ohmigod, that’s adorable!

[1.5] Juli follows Patch, still making the goo-goo pose. Patch is now flipping her off.

9. Patch: If you weren’t sexing me on a regular basis, I would so punch you in the
tit for that…
10. Juli: Cutie Widdle Patchie…

PAGE TWO – four panels

[2.1] Together again, the couple walks along the grassy hillside beyond the Willows—the beach is in the background, with dozens of sailboats far off.

1. Juli: No, okay, seriously, though… when did you give it up?
2. Patch: You make it sound so illicit.

[2.2] Juli squats down, so she can lie on the grass.

3. Juli: I just thought most people remembered when they got “too old” for their
childhood friends.
4. Patch: Heh, sometimes I think all of my friends are invisible…

[2.3] They both lie next to each other in the grass.

5. Juli: Yeah?
6. Patch: Well, sure… I mean, besides…
7. Patch: Multiverse theory, quanta, ghosts… maybe they are real somehow…

[2.4] From above their heads, angled to look up at the clouds. They’re getting heavier.

8. Juli: Sounds like BS excuses to me.
9. Patch: What do I say that doesn’t?

PAGE THREE – four panels

[3.1] Juli and Patch roll onto their sides, so they can look at each other.

1. Patch: It’s gonna rain soon.
2. Juli: Tell me about him.
3. Patch: Why do you care so much?

[3.2] Juli curls up against Patch, but doesn’t look at him.

4. Juli: Patch, sometimes you can be old-school romantic…
5. Juli: …And sometimes you’re a real cock-sucker.
6. Juli: This’d all be easier if I could figure you the fuck out, y’know?

[3.3] Patch looks down at her.

7. Patch: What would be easier?
8. Juli: …

[3.4] Patch rolls onto his back, looking up. A couple of drops of rain strike his face.

9. Patch: Fine. Okay.
10. Patch: He was actually a hand-me-down… He was Matthew’s, first…

PAGE FOUR – six panels

[4.1] The first four panels are linked as a faux comic strip laid over the normal grid, riffing on Watterson (as Juli predicted). Each one has a three-year old Patch and a hulking (but adorable) Bigfoot, sitting under a tree.

1. Patch: Dad told Mom today that my comics were gonna melt my brain.

[4.2] Same.

2. Patch: But if he sits in front of the TV, he goes all slack like a zombie and
doesn’t move for hours.

[4.3] Same.

3. Patch: Why would people make so many things designed to make us stupid and
then try to get rid of whatever’s best at it?

[4.4] Same.

4. Bigfoot: Now you know why I hide out in the woods.
5. Patch: Yeah, but you don’t have toilets out there!

[4.5] Juli smirks. She and Patch are looking up again. The rain’s falling a bit more—dripping, but steady.

6. Juli: S’about what I expected.
7. Patch: Wssh. All kids are the same…

[4.6] From a little ways off. Rain pouring on what appears to be an abandoned tricycle at the edge of woods.

8. Patch’s Narrative: …They think they can take on the world.

PAGE FIVE – six panels

[5.1] They sit up.

1. Patch: Man, New England weather…
2. Patch: Yeah, mostly, we’d explore the land at my grandparents’ farm.

[5.2] Three-year old Patch rides along on his tricycle, carrying his stuffed Bigfoot under one arm, and sees a door set mostly into the ground on the back wall of the barn.

3. Patch’s Narrative: Like, I remember this one time, when we first found the
cellar door…

[5.3] Young Patch, clutching his doll, stands before the old wooden door. Grass has overgrown it, and the hinges and handle show signs of rust. The wood is clearly rotting.

4. Patch: Whaddayathink’s in there, Bigfoot?

[5.4] He steps onto the door.

5. Patch: I don’t think we could open—

[5.5] The rotten wood of the door gives way, and young Patch falls.

SFX: CRUNCH
6. Patch: YAAH!

[5.6] Patch and Juli run through pouring rain towards Patch’s car.

7. Patch: Jesus!
8. Juli: Finish your damned story! What happened?

PAGE SIX – panels

[6.1] They climb inside the car.

1. Patch: Well, I managed to not break anything… Kids are lucky like that…
2. Patch: But it was pitch black down there, and I hurt all over.
3. Patch: Slammed my head, too…

[6.2] All black panel.

4. Patch (wb.): Hello?
5. Patch (wb.): A-Are you scared, Bigfoot?

[6.3] Patch turns on the car.

SFX: VRRRR
6. Patch: But he wasn’t, I mean, he was fuckin’ Bigfoot, right?

[6.4] Very, very dark panel, but we can vaguely see Patch, who’s looking at what looks like a feminine figure in the dark.

7. Patch: Th-Then I w-won’t be either…

[6.5] Patch driving, with Juli looking at him skeptically.

8. Patch: So I was okay until they found me.
9. Patch: After that, I didn’t really need him anymore.
10. Juli: Just like that?
11. Patch: Yeah… Pretty much… Guess I was a brave kid…

PAGE SEVEN – six panels

[7.1] Young Patch rides on his tricycle on a mess of mud, sticks, and leaves, carrying Bigfoot under his arm. It’s lightly raining.

No Copy

[7.2] Small panel, low shot. The trike gets jammed in the ground.

No Copy

[7.3] It tips, and Patch—and the doll—spill to the ground. He scrapes his knees, elbows, etc...

1. Patch: Owww…

[7.4] Patch looks before him in horror.

2. Patch: *sn—

[7.5] Close-in on a giant worm on the ground, right in front Patch’s face.

3. Patch (off-panel): AAAHHH!!

[7.6] Patch flees, leaving the trike and the doll behind. By now, the rain is heavier.

4. Patch: MOOOOOMMM!!!!

PAGE EIGHT – five panels

[8.1] Pouring rain over the Brennan farmstead.

No Copy

[8.2] Later. The rain has stopped.

No Copy

[8.3] Patch walks through the same area as he’d ridden before. He sees the tricycle ahead. He’s actually a few years older, here. Time has passed.

No Copy

[8.4] He’s up close now, and he sees the tricycle rusted away and the stuffed animal moldy and destroyed beyond repair.

1. Patch: Ew.

[8.5] He walks away, leaving the detritus where he’d found it.

No Copy
_________________
Michael Peterson
"When most people rewrite, the original gets smaller..." -Jade Dodge
Visit Patchwork Earth - The First Node of the Oneironet!
False Prophet of the Jadepocalypse

Wagon · Harbinger of the Jadepocalypse

Very nice indeed, Mike...

I wrote something as well (more as an intellectual exercise than anything) but as I have absolutely NO confidence in my skills, I won't inflict it upon you all Razz

Lazy Metaphors · Posted: Thu Jul 22, 2004 1:59 pm Post subject:

Bugger that, rock this turkey! Let's see some wordage!
_________________
Michael Peterson
"When most people rewrite, the original gets smaller..." -Jade Dodge
Visit Patchwork Earth - The First Node of the Oneironet!
False Prophet of the Jadepocalypse

Wagon · Harbinger of the Jadepocalypse

no no no... but thanks for the interest. It's just that I am horribly insecure in my wrting ability..

Lazy Metaphors · Posted: Fri Jul 23, 2004 1:01 am Post subject:

S'your dime, dude.... just remember... EVERYONE is horribly insecure about their writing...

...Except maybe John Byrne...
_________________
Michael Peterson
"When most people rewrite, the original gets smaller..." -Jade Dodge
Visit Patchwork Earth - The First Node of the Oneironet!
False Prophet of the Jadepocalypse

Wagon · Harbinger of the Jadepocalypse

hehe..

But, to steer this thread back onto the tracks (which I promise I will never do again... ) very nice indeed, Mike..

Lazy Metaphors · Posted: Mon Jul 26, 2004 6:38 am Post subject:

Thankee-sai.
_________________
Michael Peterson
"When most people rewrite, the original gets smaller..." -Jade Dodge
Visit Patchwork Earth - The First Node of the Oneironet!
False Prophet of the Jadepocalypse

Jade · Jade of the Jadepocalypse

How very symbolic. Very Happy

Nice work, as always.

Lazy Metaphors · Posted: Tue Jul 27, 2004 4:12 pm Post subject:

Yeah, I thought if you'd catch a few things... Laughing

Glad you liked it.
_________________
Michael Peterson
"When most people rewrite, the original gets smaller..." -Jade Dodge
Visit Patchwork Earth - The First Node of the Oneironet!
False Prophet of the Jadepocalypse

	Cellar Door Publishing Forum Index -> Cellar Door Community	All times are GMT - 7 Hours
Page 1 of 1